Okay, so today I realize what an uneventful year I have as a freshman. I’ve got to make full use of opportunities given in NUS. Being in a world class university only works to your benefit if you know how to make full use of the opportunities given.

Feeling so freaking demoralized right now. I can’t seem to start achieving what I want. Do I really know what I want to achieve? Why can’t I bring myself to do things? Why can’t I do things with a proper mindset and absolute determination. I can’t seem to put in my utmost effort in things. Why am I like that? I wasn’t like this. When did I became like that?

But I know Lord, I’m something because You gave me everything. So I pray to You Lord, guide me. Give me the wisdom, the faith and the passion for You and for life itself. Remind me of Your love for me and that I can do everything and anything with You. Ignite the passion and fire in me again Lord and that I’m able to start doing things with desire and determination again. Amen.

I always quite dislike obligations. Just because I am expected to do something means I’ve got to do it even when I dislike it. I never like to work. Don’t know if it’s because of my dad’s influences as he always complain about his job or just because I never like to do the same thing everyday. School is different, you have different lessons everyday and you learn different stuff. Yet, in the workplace, you’ve got to do all those daily boring stuff that never seems to get completed. As I was searching for summer jobs, I finally understand why people say finding a job is hard! I guess I’m just too fussy sometimes. I don’t want to do any more admin stuff, I can’t do waitressing jobs and I refused to be a cashier. Preferably, if I can slack at home, by all means I will do it. BUT, I know I can’t. I’ve got to learn to be independent and working life is gonna be here very soon seeing how time passes so quickly. ):
Dear God, I pray that you will remove all my laziness and give me a job that I like this summer ASAP. I wanna earn money!!(:

I haven’t used tumblr in ages, but I just have this sudden urge to type out what has been in my heart for a long time.

Until 7 years ago, I didn’t really consider myself as a Christian. Sure, I know Jesus and God, I prayed to Him in times of need but I never really truly know the Gospel. Until my mom decided to go church when I was in secondary 1. I wouldn’t say the sermon that pastor preached blew me right away like what some people experienced. But I was keen and maybe a little excited to attend church on the following Sunday. I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but I began to truly understand the gospel and feel God’s for me. It was a gradual thing for me. I wasn’t able to raise my hands up during worship in the beginning but as I hear more about the Gospel, I was then able to surrender my all to Him.
What am I without Him? Did i seriously think I can survive here in this world without God?
Although I still sleep in church, sometimes forgetting about what pastor preached, falling into temptations, relying on my own effort, I know that I am not alone. I’ve been more aware of God these past few months and I have never felt more loved and cherished than ever. As I reflect on my life, I realized it is impossible that I am able to survived any hardships without His guidance. I just want to thank Abba Father for loving me all these days and I know I won’t ever be alone. Pastor prince is an anointed pastor and I couldn’t be more thankful that I have him as my pastor.
Some people might judged us as being overly religious but like what the bible says “you are in this world, but you are not of this world”, so who cares? Christianity is not a religion but a relationship with God! I know my future is going to be bright as He has already gone ahead and I know nothing formed against me shall prosper! I am a child of God and I am more than a conqueror!
I love You Jesus, caused You first loved me.